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The Hidden II [1993]
The Hidden Room [1949] Hide in the Light [2018] High Crimes [2002]
The Hills Have Eyes [1977] The Hills Have Eyes [2006] The Hills Have Eyes II [2007]
The Hills Have Eyes Part II [1984] A History of Violence [2005] The Hitcher II: I've Been Waiting [2003]
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy [2005] Hitman [2007]
Hitman: Agent 47 [2015] The Hole in the Ground [2019] Holidays [2016]
Homefront [2013] Honeymoon [2014] The Horde [2009]
The Horde [2012] The Horde [2016] Horns [2013]
Horror Planet [1981] The Host [2006] Host [2020]
Hostiles [2017] The Hot Rock [1972] The Hourglass Sanatorium [1973]
House of 1000 Corpses [2003] House of Bodies [2014] House of Fears [2007]
House of Wax [2005] House on Willow Street [2016] Hover [2018]
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) [2009] Hunter Killer [2018] The Hunter's Prayer [2017]
Husk [2011]

Host [2020]


         

Taking their cue from movies like Unfriended, this one concerns a group of people conducting a seance on Zoom ...and something really bad shows up. This extremely short (less than an hour) and simple story is just an excuse to hit us with one jump scare after another but with relentless effectiveness that is full of edge-of-your-seat tension, groan-inducing anxiety, and sheer terror that leaves the viewer breathless. Made on a low budget, there were a few things that didn't quite sit right with me but on the whole, terrific film well worth another watch.

The Hole in the Ground [2019]


         

After her child wanders into the woods, where she finds a massive hole in the ground, a mother becomes increasing convinced there's something wrong with the boy ...or, is it really her boy? The situation certainly created as lot of tense and creepy moments, some of which played out differently than I would have logically thought, but nothing outstanding. The climax was pretty much what I expected although far more over-the-top making it more weird than frightening. Some will really like this one. I found it mildly entertaining.

The Hitcher II: I've Been Waiting [2003]


         

I consider The Hitcher one of the best thrillers of the 80's: A kid driving to San Diego is terrorized by a psycho hitchhiker in west Texas. 15 years later, our survivor and his girlfriend are in the same area and become terrorized by a different psycho. Yeah, pretty ludicrous but, be that as it may, this movie basically plays out the same scenario as the first without as much intensity. Jake Busey did a great job as the psycho but he ain't Runger Hauer. Still, I generally enjoyed it.

The Host [2006]

aka Gwoemul

         

A family eludes the authorities in an attempt to rescue a daughter / granddaughter / niece from the clutches of a huge, mutant lizard thing. The monster is totally awesome and all the scenes starring said mutant were great. The rest of the film felt sort of lame and sometimes silly and I didn't particularly like the way it ended, either. Overall, though, it was certainly worthwhile and a fun ride.

Husk [2011]


         


A car accident leaves a group of young adults stranded next to a corn field and then, one by one, they get turned into zombie scarecrows. OK, whatever. Once the stupidity of the characters takes hold, the movie is about as ridiculous as the premise would appear to indicate.

House of 1000 Corpses [2003]


         
  
Two couples road tripping stop at Captain Spaulding's Chicken & Gasoline for the Murder Ride followed by a visit to Dr. Satan's tree. Then things get weird. This film is virtually a collage of disturbing yet artistic visuals, in a morbid way, intermixed with some grotesquely colorful characters committing murder and mayhem and having an incredibly good time doing it. It's macabre, bizarre, gory, and ludicrous, this Rob Zombie masterpiece will be either loved or hated. Total insanity.

House of Fears [2007]


         

A tour guide for a "fear" museum sneaks into the museum the night before its grand opening with a bunch of friends. Guess what happens? If you go into this knowing it's low budget with some not-so-bright teenagers and one contrived scene after another and all it's doing is trying to entertain you, it's really rather fun. Has that drive-in B-movie quality that I remember so well from my youth. Not particularly good but not as bad as you'd think.

Hostiles [2017]


         

In 1892, a Captain (and veteran Indian killer) is ordered to escort a Indian Chief to Montana from New Mexico. As basically a member of the party, the viewer is privy to the very personal lives of everyone involved and, as a character study, there are very few films that manage this level of depth, performance and authenticity. The photography is stunning. However, this is not an action movie. If the characters and performances were not as compelling to watch as they were, this movie would have been like watching paint dry for over 2 hours.

The Horde [2012]

aka Orda

         

A fictionalized account in the history of the Golden Horde in Russia around the 14th century about a holy man attempting to stop an attack on Moscow by curing the blindness of the Tartar Queen. In fact, that's practically all this movie is about. There's no action, no warfare and hardly any politics. The movie takes over 2 hours to tell a half hour story and concentrates almost exclusively on how much this holy man suffers until the Queen regains her sight. Very historically authentic visually but that's all its got going for it.

Hide in the Light [2018]


         

A bunch of urban explorers enter an old orphanage that's been abandoned for 60 years ...or so they thought. Take your logic, fold it up neatly and stick it in your back pocket as it really has no place here. That being said, I found this film to be rather fun. It's obviously made by amateur filmmakers but it's rather well done and certainly far better than many I've seen. As mentioned, lots of logic problems - like a 60 year old tape player and generator still working - but the girl's creepy, the demon's a badass and the pacing was great.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy [2005]


         

Arthur Dent's house is about to be demolished. Little does he know the whole Earth is about to be demolished. I was a big fan of the book, which I thought was hilarious. The movie, however, came off as kind of dry. Apparently I developed a much funnier movie in my head than they made for the screen. My favorite character in the book was Marvin, the hilariously depressing robot which in the movie was just ...well ...depressing and didn't even get a chuckle out of me. Mildly entertained and slightly amused but I expected a whole lot more.

Honeymoon [2014]


         

A newlywed couple goes to the bride's childhood cabin for their honeymoon. After sleepwalking one night, the bride becomes increasingly disoriented and things start falling apart. The couple was likable and genuine which was the reason I stuck with it as it is also extremely slow paced. I know some will like the insidious slow-burn nature of the film but I was getting impatient. Then it got really strange and ultimately very downbeat without enough of a reveal to make it fully work for me. Interesting, some good stuff, but...

Hunter Killer [2018]


         

The submarine USS Arkansas, with a brand new Captain, finds itself in Russian waters in the middle of a Russian military coup and the new regime wants to start WWIII. Exciting military story involving submarines, destroyers, guided missiles, a black ops team, an attempted rescue, sniping, a mine field, etc. The story is well constructed, the characters were great ...except maybe Gary Oldman. Featured prominently in the credits, all he really does is holler that we need to go to war. Beyond that, I found this gripping, exciting and very cool.

High Crimes [2002]


         

A man is arrested for war crimes he insists he did not commit. His wife chooses to defend him in military court and begins to unravel a conspiracy. This is a pretty standard legal thriller with a lot of unrealistic threatening of the lawyers to add suspense and tension. Think about it ...why would you do that? Be that as it may, it had a pretty good twist and overall, quite enjoyable as long as it's taken with a grain of salt. Ashley Judd, Morgan Freeman and Jim Caviezel all did exceptionally well.

The Hidden Room [1949]

aka Obsession

         

A psychiatrist plans to commit an elaborate, perfect murder against his wife's lover. This was a pretty good examination of obsession and the arrogance of a higher intelligence, who thinks he has all the answers, and a Scotland Yard Inspector who reminds him that all murderers are amateurs and the inspectors are the professionals when it comes to killing. And what about the guy locked up in a room? ...and the dog? Entertaining and quite a joy for a film that's 70 years old.

Homefront [2013]


         

An ex-Interpol agent and his daughter move to a Louisiana town. An altercation between a bully and his daughter escalates into a full blown war ...and the members of a motorcycle gang from the agent's past is showing up. Excellent, high-action film with Jason Statham doing what he does best. Excellent editing and superbly choreographed fight scenes. Izabela Vidovic was great as the daughter, as well, and John Franco was great as a mildly psychotic killer. Very exciting film.

House of Bodies [2014]


         

Ponderously slow and uneventful story jumping between a cop interviewing a convicted serial killer in hopes of hunting down a copycat and a chat house that caters to online pseudo-sexual role playing that is being invaded by said copycat. There's nothing about his film that works ...no suspense, no tension, no sense of peril. It just looks like actors following a script in a movie with no style or technique. Truly a total waste of time.

A History of Violence [2005]


         

After protecting his customers by killing a couple of serial killers, the owner of a small town cafe is proclaimed a hero. This attracts a gangster who swears the man is a former associate and killer. Moving along at a slow and steady pace, the film does an excellent job of keeping you questioning whether he is a former assassin or simply the wrong guy. The relationships are honest, personal, and painful and the build up to the climactic end is well crafted and satisfying. Good film!

The Hidden II [1993]


   

Taking place 15 years after the events in The Hidden, the evil alien has spawned and a new hero has come to save the day. Well, here's the thing. The original was one of the best high-octane, alien monster movies in the 80's with cars, guns and rock 'n roll that simply doesn't stop. Then someone thought it would be a good idea to spend a fraction of the budget on a sequel with a few amateur actors and throw in a couple fight scenes and everything would be ok. Pfffftttt!!!! The trailer is so blatantly misrepresentative, it's hysterical! ...and better than the movie.

The Horde [2009]

aka La horde

         

A gang of cops seeking retribution raid a building to take out a gang of drug dealers ...just as the zombie apocalypse breaks out. This dead serious (pardon the pun) and brutally savage French film highlights the social dynamics of two groups, who would love to shoot each other on sight, coming together to survive. Easily the most visceral zombie film I've ever seen ...the walls are literally dripping with blood. Holy cow, this film is violent!!! Watch French with Eng Subtitles ...English dubbing is not done very well and sounds out-of-place.

The Horde [2016]


         

Totally cliche horror movie. We have the bloody intro followed by the main group of victims heading to a lake. Interrupt the trip to run into a possibly mentally unstable stranger and throw in a fight scene to show how good our hero is at being an ex-navy seal. 40 mins into the film, we have our first killings within the group ...naturally, it's the couple who were having sex. Our hero must now save them all. It wasn't a particularly bad movie ...it was just so formula and unoriginal that I had to laugh.

The Hot Rock [1972]


         

Donald Westlake wrote a series of very funny novels featuring Dortmunder, master thief who seemed to have everything go wrong on every heist. This film is faithfully based on the first novel and features a plan to steal a precious diamond that, due to bad luck and a comedy of errors, requires not one heist but several. Quite humorous and well thought out with great characters, this was probably one of the best caper movies of the '70's. Very fun.

The Hills Have Eyes [1977]


         
  
A family's vehicle breaks down in the middle of the Nevada desert and leaves them unknowingly surrounded by cannibals. This gore horror cult classic, brought to us by one of the masters, Wes Craven (The Last House on the Left, A Nightmare on Elm Street) is brutal, sadistic and, oddly, humorous in a tongue-in-cheek sorta way. Colorful and grotesque characters, strangely plausible albeit weird and ridiculous scenarios and some exceptionally good quotable lines. Still a favorite after 40 years.

The Hills Have Eyes Part II [1984]


         
  
This time, it's a bus load of young folks heading to a bike competition that gets stuck in the desert. It amazes me how Wes Craven could make such a classic cult horror film with the original and then follow it up with an absolutely awful sequel. This is simply horrendous. Not a single likable character, everyone is a total moron that makes completely ludicrous decisions. In fact, that's the only reason the 2 (yes, only 2) cannibals have any success as they're too damn stupid to be threatening. A totally amateur effort.

The Hills Have Eyes [2006]


         
  
A case of someone making the mistake of trying to reboot a classic and actually making a superior film. See my review of the original if you want to know what it's about as this movie is exactly the same practically scene for scene, only better, right up to the trailer attack. Then the film goes into new territory that is grossly entertaining (pun intended) with incredibly colorful and grotesque mutants, violently brutal yet creative savagery and a relentlessness that doesn't let up. And they still maintained a level of humor. Bravo!

The Hills Have Eyes II [2007]


         
  
A group of National Guardsmen trainees head into the desert to supply a scientific outpost and meet the cannibals in the hills. If you have any hope of enjoying this, please check your brain at the door. That way you won't feel intellectually insulted by those on the screen who obviously don't have one. Instead of keeping it's brutality in context, like the previous film, this one (including the revolting and unnecessary opening scene) is gratuitously vile and disgusting. Overall, average shlock shock film. Nothing more.

Holidays [2016]


         

An anthology horror film with each story centered around a particular holiday. Lots of vignettes in this one as they were all short and sweet. Some were pretty simple and straight forward. Others were seriously twisted and freakish. It has a few really choice moments (that Jesus bunny is real nightmare fuel), is darkly humorous, occasionally cringe worthy and, overall, pretty good ...not great but very entertaining.

Horns [2013]


         

A young man, that everyone suspects killed the love of his life, begins growing horns and can suddenly manipulate people. This was a simple and original story that was well told. However, I had a really hard time grasping the subtleties of what's going on here and the movie could have been vastly improved if it was at least 30 mins shorter. It was interesting and I could see where a lot of people would really like this movie but, sorry... I just found it mildly interesting.

House on Willow Street [2016]

aka From a House on Willow Street

         

A plan to kidnap a girl and demand a cache of diamonds for her release takes a nasty turn when they find out they've interrupted an exorcism and the girl is the last person they want around. Not a particularly bad movie - plenty of jump scares, gnarly effects and a good, sinister atmosphere - but it really could have used better dialogue and something more original than the usual horror movie cliches that it relied far too much on. The climax wasn't anything to write home about, either. Generally entertaining.

Hitman [2007]


         
  
Raised from a child to be an assassin, agent 47 has been assigned to kill a Russian politician running for Premiere, when he realizes he's been set up. This was the perfect role for Timothy Olyphant as he brings a stoic but likable personality to a killing machine that is virtually unstoppable. Excellent story, great action in both gun fights and martial arts and a very interesting relationship between the hitman and a girl he gets saddled with. Very fun ...despite Rotten Tomatoes' obvious dislike.

Hitman: Agent 47 [2015]


         
  
Agent 47 is trying to find the daughter of the creator of the organization that developed the agents before the syndicate finds her first. This is basically a reboot or standalone film as the only thing it has in common with the first is the main character ...this time portrayed competently by Rupert Friend ...albeit a bit more robotic than Olyphant's performance. The action is spectacular despite the obvious moments of CGI and the story was good enough to keep me fully engaged. Really good, escapist fun, if that's all you're looking for.

The Hunter's Prayer [2017]


         

An Iraq veteran / assassin / junkie is hired to kill a girl but decides to protect her instead. The confrontation scenes were very well designed and played out and thoroughly held my interest. The drama in between those scenes was quite lengthy at times as it seems that no one can just open their mouth and let the words out ...I kept wanting to reach down their throat and get them. Sam Worthington didn't seem like he was made for the role, as well. I thought it was a good enough movie ...I've just seen better among plenty of other similar films.

Horror Planet [1981]

aka Inseminoid

         

A scientific mission to an alien planet, to determine what happened to the previous population, results in a woman being impregnated by an alien and becoming totally insane. If you go into this film knowing that it's ultra-low-budget, incredibly silly and ridiculous, with some of the most laughable fight scenes ever (they obviously couldn't afford experienced stunt doubles) complete with some totally moronic decision making, you'll probably find this to be somewhat amusing. I did.

House of Wax [2005]


         

On a trip to a big sporting event, 6 friends get stuck near a small town named Ambrose where practically everyone is nothing more than wax figures. I love this movie and I don't think it gets nearly the ratings it deserves. Except for a few elements from the Vincent Price version, this is not a remake but rather a whole new spin on the idea. Although the story and acting isn't much more than what you'd expect in a film like this, the gags are priceless and the practical effects are awesome. Brilliantly well made film.

Hover [2018]


         

In the near future, a woman, who works for a service performing assisted suicides, begins to suspect there's a conspiracy between her work and farming drones. Having to sit through 2 drawn out scenes of assisted suicide wasn't bad enough, I had to wait 45 mins before she was even aware something isn't right and another 15 to find out what. The rest of the movie drags out a climax that's about as unexciting as it gets. Might have been a decent film if the pacing was improved and they put a bit more tension and excitement in it.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) [2009]


         

A mad doctor attaches 3 victims, anus to mouth, to create a human centipede. This film is simply vile and revolting. I knew that going in but I thought there would be something about it that I might find entertaining - maybe a bit of camp, some humor perhaps, albeit possibly unintended, maybe a colorful character or two - but no, this film has nothing entertaining about it ...and I would suspect any individual who did find it entertaining. Pretty sick stuff! I think I'll skip Full and Final Sequence.

The Hourglass Sanatorium [1973]

aka Sanatorium pod Klepsydra

      

This makes no sense ...nor is it supposed to. Taking place in a "sanatorium" in Eastern Europe (which is nothing more than ruins), time has no meaning here. As such, settings, characters, even events are presented in an illogical progression practically every time someone steps through a door ...or crawls under a bed. The sets are fantastic, the characters were surreal and fun and, even though it started to get bogged down in the last 45 mins, there was never a desire to look away or turn it off. A truly fascinating fantasy that was well worth the journey.

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